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| So, I was going to make an angry and derogatory post about my Jewish landlords. And something about how Hitler was possibly quite correct in his visions. And that I wouldn't mind if America did not stop him. Because for the third time, my paper was lost because the electricity died. I was going to say that my landlords are so cheap that they never send real electricians or plumbers or locksmiths to fix all the things wrong with this house. After calming down, I have realized that the loss of my final research paper is no one's fault but my own. If I, myself, had not been cheap .. then I would be in possession of the full version of Microsoft Office. Because I am really a Jew at heart (or maybe just a really cheap Chinese), I refused to purchase the software. And consequentially, I am frustrated more than once. During finals week.
But the point of this entry was not to be racist (even though I did mention Jew a couple of times). The point was .. I have learned how to play the blame game really well. I really need to quit. ...And I was going to say that it's maybe because of my American upbringing that I blame all my issues on everyone else, but that would be blaming others again. So its my fault. Really, it is. For my New Year's Resolution, I'm going to try to take deep breaths and not blame others. This will probably go as well as my annual diet resolution of losing 10 lbs (haven't lost 1 yet!). At least I have acknowledged my problem though! :)
EDIT:
But it would be nice if a real electrician could come fix the wiring. After the landlord "fixed" my room mate's room .. the electricity has been going haywire. My room blacked out a total of five times today while I was working on my essay. Good thing I finally purchased Microsoft Office and did not lose too much every time. But still, its quite frustrating.. making it very difficult not to be prejudice and grateful.
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| To Whom It May Concern,
It's that time again! It's cold, windy, rainy. Excitement is in the air, only to be blanketed by dread and a heavy responsibility to best your best. Finals week. It always gets to me, and once again, I feel that familiar disillusionment with university education. What's the point of finals? I work hard enough during the ten weeks of instruction, juggling work and massive amounts of assigned reading, to go into my final exam with some sort of A. Sometimes, I maintain that A. Other times, it seems like the professor purposely gives final exams that are so off-the-scale difficult (especially when its cumulative) that my grade will drop a letter. What's the point of me busting my ass during the school year to maintain a good (possible) GPA if finals totally cancels out my hard work? And as for finals week itself. It's so stupid. The week before vacation, after 10 weeks of grueling study, and they expect you to concentrate. How about taking out finals week, and having an 11th week of mandatory 'last lectures' where the professor tells us exactly how their material is relevant to the real world? At least I would be learning something that's useful instead of frying my brain over useless details that will inevitably be forgotten due to the trauma of sleeplessness and frustration that results in 'repressed memories.'
But kudos to my rational Psych102 professor (psych102) that wrote legitimate exams (that tested understanding, rather than details) AND rewarded those of us who worked hard enough during the 10 weeks that we don't have to take the final tomorrow morning at 8AM. And thank you for my intelligent Modern Medicine British professor who puts precedence on learning over memorization, and grades only through pop quizzes and take-home research papers. And thanks for a good quarter to my Asian Music instructor who was actually interesting and engaging in her lectures, and being understanding of our inability to memorize thirty thousand musical terms and instruments across the eastern continents.
So yeah, I'm basically just upset at my Child Development instructor who thinks that testing whether you go to class is more important than if you understand the material. Granted, I have never skipped a lecture. But seriously? I'm not going to write down every example. Not because I'm lazy, but because you fit three words into one second and you never come up for air. And I'm not sorry I don't remember the color of the experimental objects used (because its not relevant to the point of the study) that you mentioned in your emotion lecture. Yeah, five of those type of questions and you're down to a B. I have kept up with all your readings (which take about 3 hours per chapter) throughout the quarter, so dedicated to learning am I (or getting my tuition's worth). But the only people doing well in your class are those who idolize you for your work with children (because they have the ambition of a 1950's woman). And I, unfortunately, do not idolize you. And I hate your class despite your irrationally high ratings on CAPE. I will study for your final, but with little passion, because I know my ability to understand the significance of knowledge has no relevance to your self-absorbed tests.
Winter break, here I come. << This attitude also does not help in my studying. Which is my fault.
Restless @ UCSD,
Angela
P.S. Thank you to my Jewish landlord (I am not racist) who was too cheap to hire a real electrician, and attempted to fix our electricity by flipping switches on and off, while I worked on my final research paper. Because of you, I started where I had finished five hours prior to your stupid mistake. Thanks for setting me back and putting me in a mood not fit for studying.
P.P.S. Is anyone else tired of seeing the Tiger Woods scandal as their 'top news item' on iGoogle? -_-; All the articles can be summed up in a couple of sentences: He's rich. He's human. And he's big pimpin. And the rest is his personal business. All the girls who are 'surfacing' are just getting their five minutes of fame. For essentially being prostitutes. Or liars. Or both. Which boggles my mind why they would admit to it in the first place.
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| Was reading Chris' Xanga (that he hasn't updated in ages) and came across this insightful entry.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered; her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
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| In researching for my History of Modern Medicine final research paper, I have concluded that mankind is terribly great and just terrible. Advancement and success through the suffering of others. I wonder how the future world will analyze our achievements.
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